Mommy Guilt!!! Is there a cure???? If so, sign my ass up!!!!!!!

Heeeeeeeeello my people!!!
THANK YOU for being sooooooooooo darn patient!!!!!!
Finally, here is the new Mommy Blog…………!

My topic for this month:

MOMMY GUILT!!! IS THERE A CURE???? IF SO, SIGN MY ASS UP!!!!!!

Ok, so this is something that I have discovered, slowly creeping into my life and I am not sure how to navigate it! As moms I am sure you might be able to relate…
If you have ANY advice,, BRING IT!!!!

Ok,,before I had a baby, I  once saw a commercial for cough medicine,,, and there was the Mom,,, sick in her bed, coughing, red nose, snot, aches etc,,, and everyone in the house was all over her,,
The Dad saying “Honey wake up, I need to know where the breakfast stuff is, so I can fix breakfast to help you out and let you sleep in”
The kids,,”Mommy wake up, I need help with my clothes!” Mommy where is my homework?  ”Mommy help, the dog threw up, what should we do to help him?” Blah, blah, blah….
My pre-mommy self thought, “COME ON! That is ridiculous! She needs rest, she can find the time and she should just tell everyone to back off!”
Well,,,, DUH???!!! NOW I GET IT!!!!

This is just the life of your average Mom! We really don’t get a day off, and even if we did, we would probably feel guilty about it!!! OY!!

The last month I have been overwhelmed, between, work, sickness, and the Holidays, and well, just plain LIFE!…

But none of that matters.  I realize, the Buck Stops with The Moms of the world……..and if I can’t get to every little thing, I feel guilty!

Here’s how it is for me:

1) I feel guilty that I even  got sick in the first place, even though I took all the meds, inhalers, supplements, herbs, teas(even though it tasted like DIRT!) drops, and  lozenges!  I also did EVERY home remedy suggested, because of course EVERYONE has a “home remedy” and I needed to get better ASAP! I coughed so much I think I sprained a muscle around my ribs. I mean, how is that even possible?…
The worst part, I am someone who never gets sick, but it turns out, I am not superhuman! Who knew?!

2) I feel guilty that while sick, I had to be at work at 5am for a 12 hour day.. And thus not able to see Luna Marie in the morning when she is the sweetest.  I would only see her for 1 hour at night and then,,,

3) I would feel guilty that I had a  horrible headache from coughing  all day, that when she tried to play “Horsey” (with Mommy starring as the horse, of course!) that I couldn’t keep from hacking and coughing so much that the game was just no fun. :(

4) I feel guilty that I worked 12-14 hour days and couldn’t get to the grocery store to make sure Luna Marie had all her food she needed, to have her 4 balanced meals a day. And that Dada could enjoy his morning coffee…

5) I feel guilty that while sick, I can’t listen to Luna Marie say “Mama,Mama”, and translate and answer the sitters questions, and ALSO, answer Kent’s questions at the same time!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And to top it off!

6)I feel guilty that after all that I don’t have time to be the Uber sexual vixin for my mate!
Come on we all feel that don’t we? Otherwise, why would all those Cosmopolitan Magazines fly off the shelves like they do? I mean, how many “sexual bedroom secrets and tricks” does your average woman need?!! I mean EVERY month, that is the intro on the cover!!!!!!! (But I digress!)

7) Last but so not least, I felt guilty, I couldn’t get to my blog….:/
Don’t get me wrong, it’s something that I LOVE doing!!!!! I just can’t get to it. Though, in my mind, I am working on it ALL the time!!!! :)

I guess my point is,
I must say, out loud,,,,
“I need to take a break”, and most importantly, I need to NOT feel guilty about it!!!!!
Mom’s of America, YOU NEED ONE TOO!!!

I am gonna try to schedule one,
Wish me luck!!
And
I wish you Luck too!!!!!!!!

I hope you had an AMAZING Halloween and Thanksgiving!

I did, YES! Even though I was and still am sick.  “Cough! Cough”! I even managed to make a TOFURKY and it didn’t suck!!!!!!
:)
C

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18 Responses to Mommy Guilt!!! Is there a cure???? If so, sign my ass up!!!!!!!

  1. Lennie Harrison says:

    Hello Constance, my name is Lennie Harrison. I am a fan since you played Angie Lopez. I would like to see you in your own sitcom as the main character. You are very beautiful!

  2. chelcie holguin says:

    i love your advice. I have 3 kids. all girls, 6, 4 and 11 months. I work graveyard 5 nights a week at a hotel. I never have anytime to myself and i feel guilty if i find a hour to spend not worrying about my life. I am glad to hear that there are others out there that are going threw the same stuff. even famous women. I have loved you since you place Selena’s mom and Angie Lopez. you rock.

  3. corevoice says:

    Constane, So sorry to hear that you have not been feeling well. I hope that has changed for you as I write this. You definitely need to take time to care of YOU! Sounds like you need some personal pampering. You shouldn’t feel guilty… or feel guilty for feeling guilty either. It just shows what an awesome person/wife/mother that you are for that to even enter your mind but you definitely need to take care of YOU too… My prayers are for your return to “super-natural” health, your restoration, your renewal and an exponential return on your blessing outflow back to you !

  4. corevoice says:

    *Constance* (sorry about the typo)

  5. Steve Campitelli says:

    The main job of a parent is to provide a safe and secure environment within which one’s children can be sheltered from life’s many storms. Remember that when your hurtling through the pre-dawn darkness to make a living for your family. There’s no reason to feel guilty.

  6. Steve Campitelli says:

    *you’re (not “your)

  7. Jessica says:

    Not sure if this will help but I have found that once I relax and unwind (with the help of alittle time to myself) then I am way more into what my kids are doing and what they want to do. Once I am relaxed the time with the family is much more fulfilling for us all. That is how I get over the guilt of working 60 hours a week and missing most of my kids stuff. Well that and knowing my husband is there with them taking pics or mental notes for mom to see/hear about later. :)

  8. Simon says:

    Hi! I’m a single father of three kids with full-time, so maybe I can help you see things from the other side of the fence. There are usually two times I feel “guilty” when it concerns my children. One is when I go out to catch a movie while they’re spending the weekend with their mother and the other is while I’m at work and I buy myself an ice cream cone…Hahaha…I know I should be enjoying my “me” time, but when I buy a movie ticket I feel like I should buy 3 more and its the same with the ice cream cones. As far as work goes, I just keep telling myself, “If you don’t work you can’t provide” and that eliminates ALL guilt from working and being away from them. I have two girls ages 4 & 5 and a boy that is 8. Just wait until school….Mwahahahaha…..Have a good day!

    • Desiree says:

      Simon, I must commend you! Being a single parent is the hardest thing there is. I’ve done it. Even more difficult, spending time away from your kids every other weekend (well, that’s my schedule). I used to struggle with the guilt of doing something for myself or having fun when my daughter was gone. Now, I embrace it. It’s as if I get a scheduled time for me and when I want to do something that can’t include my daughter (a grown-up movie, dinner with my husband, dinner with friends), I try to schedule it when she’s already scheduled to be away. Take that time for YOU and don’t feel guilty about it. Obviously, you are a dedicated father. Feel proud of what you’re doing and since the custody agreement says you have to have time away from your kids, take advantage! :-) Oh, and while you’re taking advantage of that time, ENJOY IT!!!
      :-) Have a happy day and kudos to you

      • Simon says:

        Desiree, I thank you for your kind words! It’s not easy by myself, but its certainly not too hard. I would do anything for my children and they know that already (even at their young ages: 4, 5, 8). I feel and know that I’m truly blessed to be able to raise these 3 little angels from heaven! I’m the happiest single man on the planet and have been for 3yrs now! Thanks again! :)

  9. corevoice says:

    BTW – I can’t believe how much Luna Marie has grown already… she’s adoreable…

  10. corevoice says:

    great photo tags too….

  11. svp says:

    So glad to see you are back! I favorited your page on facebook so I could see when you blogged again.
    As for mommy guilt, oh man, don’t even get me started!
    Personally, I feel a heck of a lot of guilt over some of my parenting choices, like I’m not doing enough. Society really lays it on thick with telling moms what they need to be doing in order for their offspring to turn out ok :
    -Even though I was strictly against television in the first year of my son’s life, in the last month I have taken to sticking him in front of a DVD with his toast and apple juice in the morning so that I can get ready for the day, get all the breakfast ready, get the dog fed, have a quick email check, etc. Granted, it’s an educational DVD and he is learning to count the numbers in French, but still, I feel guilty.
    -I feel guilty when I give him grilled cheese instead of organic seasonal vegetables for lunch, and too many cookies instead of fruit and yogurt for afternoon snack.
    -I feel guilty letting my son play with my iPhone instead of sitting him down with an age-appropriate craft like finger painting (the iPhone is a lot less messy)
    -I feel guilty because there is a pile of laundry to be folded and last night’s dishes in the sink and here I am on the internet reading blogs!
    -My son goes three afternoons a week to a nursery, and boy let me tell you, those ladies really are great at laying on the guilt. The latest: my son doesn’t listen and do what he’s told. (He’s 18 months old. If I could find a way to get him to do what he’s told I think I’d have found the holy grail).
    -I feel guilty about having taken an extended maternity leave from my company and having to live frugally for a while, rather than earning my full salary. Granted, if I were working, I would feel horribly guilty about all the time I spent away from my son. We moms just can’t win can we! I agree about the break, we need it!
    Looking forward to your next blog next month! P.S. I feel guilty because every year I say I’m going to make a tofurky and once again this year, I chickened out (no pun intended). I’m always worried it’s going to be gross and I’ll ruin Thanksgiving (and feel guilty about it). Maybe I’ll have to try a preliminary tofurky as practice first. Yours looks like it turned out really well. Have a wonderful holiday season!

  12. Shannon says:

    Whenever I’m feeling guilty even though I know I probably shouldn’t be, I try to think of things this way….I need to take care of myself for my kids. If I’m not feeling well (which by coincidence, I happen to be sick right now) I know that I can’t be what my kids need. So I have two choices….try to ignore my needs and be sick for longer, therefore not being the mommy I want to be, OR I can take one or two days to take care of myself and get over it much faster and be back to a full mommy. So far for me, the guilt is still around all the time, but it helps to remember that taking care of myself is beneficial to my children too. Hope you feel better and get the rest you need. :)

  13. Sandi says:

    Constance – everyone feels the “GUILT!” When you are at home you feel that you should be at work and when you are at work you feel you should be at home! Try to take some time for yourself because the old saying “if momma ain’t happy, ain’t no body happy” is so true! And the guilt will always be there you just have to find a way to accept it and try to find that happy medium!

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  15. Desiree says:

    Okay, first: STOP FEELING SO GUILTY. You said it yourself, you are not superhuman! As moms, the buck most certainly stops with us. I was sick over Thanksgiving and did my normal cooking. The next day, I felt even worse. I couldn’t even get out of bed. Then my husband wants me to be calling around looking for a black friday sale he was interested in. Now, I found myself getting so angry because all I wanted to do was sleep! I did not want to be on the phone and I most certainly was NOT going out shopping on black friday…no how, no way. I had to take a step back and realize that he was simply asking me to do what I always do. We have to ASK for the time we need. In fact, we shouldn’t even ask. We should, respectfully, say “I need a day to myself”. I was so afraid to do this. I was afraid that the house would fall to pieces (it did) and I was afraid that my family would be disappointed in me (they were not). The truth is this: wives and moms are entitled to take time for themselves. Some mothers lock themselves in the bathroom for a while; some moms go get their hair or nails done; some moms are even able to afford and escape to a spa. My quiet time? I take a hot bath every night before bed. I do the grocery shopping all ALONE once a week. I work all day catering to everyone and trying to calm the angry. Then, I go home and instantly am cooking dinner, checking homework, reminding my daughter to do her chores, asking my husband about his day, making sure the laundry is done and ironed for him the next day…it’s a constant cycle.

    Moms and dads feel guilty about taking time for themselves. Really, what does a stressed out, frustrated parent teach their children? Taking time for yourself teaches your spouse and your kids that you have boundaries. Your health and emotional well-being are just as important to your family as they are to you. If mommy isn’t happy, no one is happy. Yes, you have a responsibility but what good are you if you feel so overwhelmed that you can’t breathe?

    You’ve got this under control. Take a hot bath and a deep breath because Constance, this too shall pass. :-) Your dedication to your family is obvious and I am sure they know it. After all, that is why they count on you so much. Remember to take a “me” date and don’t forget about “date night”.

  16. Jazmyn says:

    lol aww , ilu so muchh & LUNA ! :D
    my idol forever & everr x3