Happy Hump Day!!!! I hope that today, you get a chance to breathe for a second, knowing that the work week is almost over. Wait! Who are we kidding right? With a blackberry or I- phone or fax and I-pad, we are always, Always, ALWAYS working, aren’t we????!!! Just NOT while driving (I hope). Oh! And thank you for sharing your Mama Stories with me!! I appreciate them SO much!
FYI- ALL MOMS are cool in some way,,, ya gotta remember that- because someday, you will be walking around in your life, something will happen, and you will know HOW TO HANDLE it, why? BECAUSE your Mama taught you too
My topic for this week: Holy C*AP!!!!!! This kid is copying EVERYTHING I say!!!!!!
Oh boy!! Guess who now has a little baby parrot? Me, that’s who!!!!!!!
Normally, this is not a major deal for moms but, for me it is a little extra awful!!!!
Why you ask? Well, because I, Constance Marie, am one of the BIGGEST POTTY MOUTHS I know!!!!!!!!
Honestly, I’m pretty bad and compulsive about it. Especially if I am tired.
In my defense, I’ve tried to quit for years! It has been my New Years resolution for like 7 years in a row!!!
I had to pay my TV children TONS of money in fines for having this mouth! And, I HAVE gotten a little better but I still have a long way to go!
It isn’t fair, I am an entertainer for gosh sakes!!! It’s sort of an occupational hazard. I deserve a lil bit of a break right? I mean, you try working around crews, transportation drivers and stage hands for 12-16 hours a day! I mean ya might as well just hang out at a truck stop! And add to that, the fact that I worked with a frikkin stand- up comedian for years!!!!!!!!!
Oops! I did it again.
FYI- there are no people more potty mouthed! And the worst part? Comedians make it funny!!! So what do I do when I’m working with them? Well,, I try to join in and when I can, I try to top them of course!!!!!! Trust me, there is nothing more rewarding than getting a comedian to laugh at you and say to you “Constance! That’s Gacho!” (Translation: Ghetto) And grimace at your comment. Trust me, when that happens it feels awesome!!!!
Now cut to: I am a Mom! Now, I am doing comedy for a lil 19 month old baby who thinks I am hilarious!!!! Even when I curse accidentally she LOVES it and giggles her head off… (Of course, poor kid, she has nothing to compare it to- she doesn’t get to watch TV yet! She thinks I am brilliant! Ha!)
I try to be entertaining while teaching her HOW to be a little girl in the world!
But every so often, when something happens,, Mommy goes off!
I also come from a long line of “Potty Mouths”. I mean it, I once learned a phrase from my very own mother and it goes a lil something like this: Sh*t, Fu#k, Rat, Piss!
Hey! Maybe it’s genetic???
I USED to think it would be cute if Luna Marie’s first word was “Sh*t!” But now, I see the other babies, who are speaking A LOT more then her, and they are cursing like crazy! Thank God Luna Marie is learning English and Spanish simultaneously so she is a little slower. I have a little more time to clean up my act!!
As a Mom, I have begun to think about the future. :/ What about school? Playgroups? The fact that maybe other kids might not being allowed to hang out with my little miss because her mommy is teaching her bad words!!! GEEZ!!!!! My work never ends!
Now I am on a mission.
I changed my inherited rant that my mother taught me, to the word “Crap!”…. Which was a start but, then I thought, “Dah-mit! Luna Marie could get in trouble in Toddler Group for even saying that!” So now it is “Cap!”
(Cut me a break, I really am trying.)
It SO doesn’t feel as good but, I do love that baby.
Of course, I say the word “Cap!” with such intensity that Luna Marie still thinks it is hilarious……now I just gotta come up with clean cuss words for all the rest! Oh boy! Got any ideas??? I would appreciate ANY advice.!! Wish me luck!